Tactical Tuesday: Advice for Self-Editing

Lately, when reading, italicized internal monologue jumps right out at me. Literally. The words jar me, and I’m sure they jar the majority of readers. Why? How can I put this? Internal monologue is shown via italicization. The reader is going along in the normal font, and then it slants.…
Lately,
when reading, italicized internal monologue jumps right out at me. Literally. The
words jar me, and I’m sure they jar the majority of readers. Why? How can I put this?
  • Internal
    monologue is shown via italicization. The reader is going along in the normal
    font, and then it slants. Then it returns to normal. Then it slants again.
  • When used in
    third-person viewpoint the italics are joined by a sudden switch to
    first-person viewpoint.
  • When used in a
    first-person viewpoint, the italics have no reason for being there. Italics
    announce to the reader that the point of view wasn’t deep enough in the first
    place.
  • Internal thought
    is used as a shortcut in fiction, and as such, it becomes a tool for telling
    rather than showing.

As with all style
issues in fiction, overuse of italics is tiresome and ineffective and should be
used sparingly. I believe that internal thought has two functions: 1) to
place emphasis on an important thought; or 2) for relevant silent
prayer.
When self-editing
for areas where telling versus showing are the focus, italicized
internal monologue is a great place for an author to search.
In the evaluation
of these areas, here are some questions that should be asked:
  • Is the internal
    monologue important enough that it needs special emphasis (and if that is true
    more than twice in a manuscript, the author may want to determine another way
    to get this emphasis across)?
  • If internal
    monologue is included in a scene, can the first paragraph be set stronger to
    clearly define the point-of-view character and to allow his or her thoughts to
    flow in the narrative, drawing the reader closer to that character?
  • If the story is
    being told in first-person point of view and internal monologue is being used
    does that mean that the first person, point-of-view character’s voice is not
    strong enough for the reader to realize that the thoughts are flowing from that
    character into the narrative?

Internal monologue
has a place in fiction. It can be used to great effect, but only if it used minimally and for the greatest impact.
Happy editing.

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