when reading, italicized internal monologue jumps right out at me. Literally. The
words jar me, and I’m sure they jar the majority of readers. Why? How can I put this?
- Internal
monologue is shown via italicization. The reader is going along in the normal
font, and then it slants. Then it returns to normal. Then it slants again. - When used in
third-person viewpoint the italics are joined by a sudden switch to
first-person viewpoint. - When used in a
first-person viewpoint, the italics have no reason for being there. Italics
announce to the reader that the point of view wasn’t deep enough in the first
place. - Internal thought
is used as a shortcut in fiction, and as such, it becomes a tool for telling
rather than showing.
issues in fiction, overuse of italics is tiresome and ineffective and should be
used sparingly. I believe that internal thought has two functions: 1) to
place emphasis on an important thought; or 2) for relevant silent
prayer.
for areas where telling versus showing are the focus, italicized
internal monologue is a great place for an author to search.
of these areas, here are some questions that should be asked:
- Is the internal
monologue important enough that it needs special emphasis (and if that is true
more than twice in a manuscript, the author may want to determine another way
to get this emphasis across)? - If internal
monologue is included in a scene, can the first paragraph be set stronger to
clearly define the point-of-view character and to allow his or her thoughts to
flow in the narrative, drawing the reader closer to that character? - If the story is
being told in first-person point of view and internal monologue is being used
does that mean that the first person, point-of-view character’s voice is not
strong enough for the reader to realize that the thoughts are flowing from that
character into the narrative?
has a place in fiction. It can be used to great effect, but only if it used minimally and for the greatest impact.