By Nicola Martinez

 

 

 

Fancy a football game? How ’bout dinner and a movie? Wanna have sex? We now live in a society where lovemaking is just another recreational activity used to pass a little time and have a little fun. Nothing wrong with having a little fun, especially if you’re not hurting anyone else, right? When it comes to pre-marital sex, the answer is a resounding, Wrong! Statistics support that the world might be better off if society took a step back and. . .waited. Let’s look at ten reasons in which abstaining from sex until after marriage benefits society.


10. Losing Control is a Good Thing (Birth Control is Detrimental to Women’s Health)
 
According to a release by Loyola University, birth control pills increase the risk of strokes 1.9 times;[1] and a study published on the British Medical Journal website purports that certain non-oral hormonal contraceptives such as vaginal rings, patches, and implants create a higher risk of serious blood clots.[2]
It’s ironic that in a society where we filter water, down vitamins by the truckload, and watch our intake of gluten as we strive to be healthier, that 62% of women[3] use birth control and risk suffering serious health issues. Since the leading reason for the use of contraception is to prevent pregnancy[4], why do women risk these potentially deadly side effects? If women chose to abstain rather than to use artificial contraception, women could not only be 100% sure not to become pregnant, but they would also live healthier, possibly longer, lives. I don’t know about you, but I think women living healthier, longer lives would benefit society. Vive la femme!
 
9. S.T.Ds are D.T.S. (Detrimental To Society) [Abstinence is the Only Sure-Fire Method of Preventing Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)]
 
Condoms are touted as one of the most effective ways to prevent the transmittal of STDs and STIs. We often hear that there’s an average of only a 2% failure rate.[5] We rarely hear that even “consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can greatly reduce, though not eliminate, the risk of STI transmission.”[6]
And, we seldom see a breakdown of what a 2% failure rate of correctly and consistently used condoms means. According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), an estimated 10.4 billion male condoms were used worldwide in 2005.[7] That means that the miniscule 2% failure rate equates to 208 million condom failures (assuming all 10.4 billion were used correctly). Why do men and women, more than two hundred million times per year, risk contracting diseases that often lead to more serious and deadly medical issues such as HIV, hepatitis B, nervous system and heart damage, and many others[8] when abstinence is 100% effective in preventing the spread of STDs and STIs? I don’t know about you, but I think a world populated by men and women who do not suffer from STDs/STIs would be a benefit to society—although, maybe not to pharmaceutical companies.
 
8. Pre-marital Sex Can Drive You Mad…and Not in a Good Way (Teens Who Engage in Pre-Marital Sex are More Likely to be Depressed and to Attempt Suicide)
 
According to a 2002 article released by The Heritage Foundation, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are more likely than their non-sexually active peers to be depressed and to attempt suicide.[9] Meg Meeker, a doctor of adolescent medicine, writes, “Teenage sexual activity routinely leads to emotional turmoil and psychological distress…. [Sexual indulgence leads] to empty relationships, to feelings of self-contempt and worthlessness. All, of course, precursors to depression.”[10]
Teens are the future of society, the hope of nations. I don’t know about you, but I think well-adjusted, confident teens who have a healthy sense of self-worth would be a benefit to society.
 
 
7. Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect…or does it? (People Who Practice Abstinence are More Likely to be Faithful Once They are Married)
 
Pre-marital sex often leads to cohabitation—a “practice” run for married living, if you will. But does living together make for a more stable marriage once those couples take the plunge? Studies say no. Those who live together until marriage are less sexually faithful after marriage than those who did not live together first.[11] And even though couples who cohabitate often claim their decision is a commitment to each other, affairs happen twice as often among those living together than amongst those who are married.[12] So, practicing sex, practicing marriage doesn’t make for a more faithful spouse; but on the flip side, practicing abstinence, practicing faithfulness to a “future spouse” makes one more faithful once the ring is on the finger. I don’t know about you, but I think people who are true and honour their commitments are a benefit to society.
 
6. I Can’t Believe It’s not Better (Better Sex!)
 
Ever heard the “shoe” argument? It goes something like this: You don’t buy a pair of shoes before trying on several to see which you like best, so it’s better to have multiple sexual partners before you get married. Well, studies now support that couples who are abstinent prior to marriage report enjoying better sex. That’s right, better sex! According to a study of 2,035 couples by American Psychological Association's Journal of Family Psychology, couples who wait, consider the sexual quality of their relationship to be 15% better than those who didn’t wait.[13] I don’t know about you, but I think couples who better enjoy making love with their spouses are a great benefit to society…or at least to each other!
 
5. We Can All Get Along (Happier Marriages and Lower Rates of Divorce)
 
It’s safe to say that when couples marry, most don’t intend to get divorced, and most do want a happy marriage. Studies now show that abstaining from pre-marital sex makes for happier marriages and a lower rate of divorce.[14] According to Dean Busby, a professor at Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, “Regardless of religiosity, waiting helps the relationship form better communication processes, and these help improve long-term stability and relationship satisfaction.” Compare this to a University of Iowa study that found that 31% of women who had sex for the first time as teens divorced within five years, and 47% divorced within ten years.[15]  I don’t know about you, but I think committed couples who know how to hash out and solve problems are a benefit to society—although maybe not to divorce attorneys.
 
4. It Doesn’t Take a Village to Raise a Child, It Takes Two Parents (Children Fare Better in Two-Parent Homes)
 
On average, children in intact families fare better in school, exhibit fewer behavioural problems, and are more likely to form healthy romantic relationships as adults.[16] As we noted earlier, people who abstain from sex until after marriage report happier marriages and have a lower rate of divorce. That means that pre-marital sex accounts for a higher rate of broken marriages and thus, an increased number of children living in single-parent, melded-family homes. Statistically, these children are at risk for lower grades, increased behavioural problems, and will more often form unhealthy relationships. The stats prove it: Two parents are better than one.[17] This shouldn’t be news since it actually takes a sperm and an egg to create a baby! I don’t know about you, but I think well-educated, well-adjusted children who understand how to form healthy relationships are a benefit to society.
 
3. Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor (Lower Rate of Poverty)
 
Absent fathers is a major cause of child poverty. Nearly two-thirds of poor children reside in single-parent homes; each year, an additional 1.5 million children are born out of wedlock. If poor mothers married the fathers of their children, almost three-quarters would immediately be lifted out of poverty.[18] As we have already noted, couples who practice abstinence are less likely to divorce. This fact has great economic impact, not just on the immediate family, but on generations. Children from intact homes fare better in school, which means that generations are more likely to attend college and in turn, earn better-paying jobs. I don’t know about you, but I think putting an end, or at least a serious dent, in poverty would benefit society.
 
2. Well, Isn’t that Special? (Respecting the Sacred)
 
We could delve into religious reasons why sex should be confined to the marriage bed and why many Christian and non-Christian sects consider lovemaking to be a sacred act, but we don’t have to. The secular statistical analyses already noted in this article tacitly support the idea that sex is sacred; Consider the many pros to abstinence—from physical and mental health, to the metaphysical, to economics—but even people who claim not to be religious inherently understand the specialness of virginity.
Actress, LeeLee Sobieski waited until age twenty-six. Why? “It wasn’t for any religious reasons or anything like that, but simply because, to me, my virginity was the most precious gift that I could ever give to a man, and I wanted to be sure I was giving it to the right man.”[19] And Leo, a professed atheist sees abstinence as an issue of respect. “Respect goes two ways. The first is the idea that I respect my future wife (even though we’ve probably never met) enough that I want her to take solace in the knowledge that I am all hers. I think most girls would agree that a guy who has waited for them is pretty cool. That goes both ways. Guys will think it’s pretty awesome too! The second reason I abstain out of respect is because most girls are going to be someone’s future wife! I respect those will-be unions enough to not interfere. Plus I don’t want guys pushing themselves on my wife to be!”[20]
I don’t know about you, but I think people who practice this level of respect for others and hold dear a gift that can be unwrapped only once are a benefit to society.
 
1. Be a Lifesaver. It’s a Whole Lot of Giggles! (Lower Rates of Abortion)
 
The National Abortion Federation tells us that 83% of all abortions are obtained by unmarried women.[21] Logically, then, we can deduce that if women waited to have sex until after marriage, most abortions (up to 83%) would cease. But, just how many abortions is 83%? In 2011, 1.06 million abortions were performed in the United States.[22] So, if 83% of the 1.06 million pregnancies that are ended by abortion are allowed to go full-term because those women choose to wait until marriage, abstinence alone would save 879,800 American babies per year. Ever heard a baby laugh? The sound can make even the grumpiest person smile. I don’t know about you, but I think 879,800 more baby giggles per year would benefit society.
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Author's Afterword: In October 2014, Pelican Book Group launched a new imprint, Pure Amore.™ This Christian romance imprint is designed to promote abstinence before marriage. It is our goal at Pelican Book Group to publish quality fiction that entertains while also promoting the Gospel. The preceding editorial is derived from statistics I discovered while researching whether this type of abstinence ministry could have a positive impact on the those who read our books.
 

 

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©2014 Nicola Martinez.  
Nicola Martinez is editor-in-chief at Pelican Book Group. For more information about the Pure Amore imprint, visit http://pureamore.com. For permission to reprint, email: reprint@pelicanbookgroup.com
 
 

[1] Biller, Increased Stroke Risk from Birth Control Pills Loyola University Health System press release  http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-10/luhs-isr102609.php (26 Oct 2009)

[2] cf  BMJ-British Medical Journal More evidence on clot risks of non-oral contraceptives ScienceDaily.com http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120510224819.htm (10 May 2012)

[3] Guttmacher Institute Contraceptive Use in the United States http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_contr_use.html (Jun 2014)

[4] IBID

[5] Guttmacher Institute Facts on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FIB_STI_US.html 

[6] Guttmacher Institute Facts on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FIB_STI_US.html  (emphasis added)

[7] DONOR SUPPORT FOR CONTRACEPTIVES AND CONDOMS FOR STI/HIV PREVENTION 2005 https://www.unfpa.org/webdav/site/global/shared/documents/publications/2005/donor_contraceptives.pdf

[8] Guttmacher Institute Facts on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FIB_STI_US.html 

[9] The Heritage Foundation Sexually Active Teenagers Are More Likely to be Depressed http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2003/06/sexually-active-teenagers-are-more-likely-to-be-depressed?ac=1 (Jun 2003)

[10] Meg Meeker, Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids (Washington, D.C.: Regnery Publishing Company, 2002), p. 64.

[11] Renata Forste and Koray Tanfer, “Sexual Exclusivity Among Dating, Cohabiting and Married Women,” Journal of Marriage and Family 58 (1996): 33-47

[12] Judith Treas and Deirdre Geisen, “Sexual Infidelity Among Married and Cohabiting Americans,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 62 (February 2000): 48-60

[13] The Globe and Mail, Couples Who Wait Report Better Sex Lives http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/couples-who-wait-report-better-sex-lives/article1847555/ (Sept 2012)

[14] IBID

[15] Sciencedaily.com, Women Who began having Sex as Teens are More Likely to Divorce, Study Finds http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/06/110615091059.htm (Jun 2011)

[16] Familyfacts.org Benefits of Family for Children and Adults http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/6/benefits-of-family-for-children-and-adults

[17] Author note: This statement is not meant to be a slight to single parents, whom this author acknowledges do work hard to raise well-adjusted, happy children in situations that oftentimes are difficult and less than ideal. This is merely an analysis of statistics which support the idea that an “ideal” situation exists in a two-parent environment.

[18] Robert Rector, The Backgrounder No.2064 (27 Aug 20074)  How Poor are America’s Poor: Examining the Plague of Poverty in America http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2007/08/how-poor-are-americas-poor-examining-the-plague-of-poverty-in-america

[19] WTM.org Community, Waiting Till Marriage LeeLee Sobieski – Virgin Until Age 26 http://waitingtillmarriage.org/leelee-sobieski-virgin-until-age-26/  (May 2011)

[20] Leo, Waiting Till Marriage 7 Reasons Why Atheists Wait Until Marriage http://waitingtillmarriage.org/7-reasons-atheists-wait-until-marriage/ (14 Aug 2011)

[21] National Abortion Federation Women Who Have Abortions https://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/facts/women_who.html

[22] Guttmacher Institute Fact Sheet Induced Abortions in the United States http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html (Jul 2014)

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